Dream Team

Did you know that I quit my PhD? It’s true, I quit my PhD during my 4th year.

The decision to leave wasn’t super sudden. In fact, it was quite a long, drawn out, and tumultuous decision. But the best advice I ever received during that decision process came from my sister, Shelly. While sitting on her grey couch one night in her living room in Orem, UT, Shelly said,

“Before quitting your PhD, why don’t you make it your dream situation? Get your dream advisor, recruit your dream committee, study your dream topic. Pretty much, create your ideal PhD situation. Then after all of that, if you’re still unhappy - leave.”

So I did just that and guess what? I quit my PhD! Shelly’s advice worked. I created my dream PhD situation (which was such an awesome process), was still unhappy, so then I left! I don’t regret it at all!

Briget and me on Lake City’s Lake Fork River in my new packraft!

I applied this same method to Lake City this year. I have entered my third year in Lake City and to be honest, I wasn't too stoked about coming back here post-breakup in January. The truth is, I’d been really missing Salida in the Arkansas River Valley; that valley is just so cool to me! So I told myself along with a few others that come winter, I was giving up my Lake City lease and returning to Salida.

But first, I was going to give Lake City a real chance! Just like my PhD, I was going to make Lake City my dream situation. So I did or I have! Not only do I provide journeys, I provide shuttles, allow hikers to stay in the BE office, clean up our scenic highway, have made new friends, help my friend out at her mercantile, bought a packraft to finally kayak our dynamite Lake Fork River, ordered a mountain bike to finally ride the San Juans with my puppies, began the process to become a licensed whitewater kayak outfitter and guide, committed to biking the Lake City Alpine 50 and running the San Juan Solstice 50 next summer, and became super intentional about dating thanks to a semi driver that I hitched a ride with years ago through Texas.

I think it was 2019 when I was biking across Texas and got an irreparable flat near a gas station and I asked a semi driver for a ride to the next town with a bike shop. During our drive he asked me if I was married or had a boyfriend to which I said no. He then asked me if I wanted one. I, of course, said yes and followed up with “when it happens, it’ll happen.” Much to my surprise the semi driver said,

“There’s no part of life that works that way. If you want something, no matter what it is, you must work for it. Including finding a companion.”

And just like Shelly’s advice, that little nugget of wisdom has never left my mind.

I’m happy to report that I’m thoroughly loving Lake City and have no plans to cease my lease. I’m finally beginning to see the town that I fell head over heels in love with 10+ years ago. I’m also beginning to see its potential and see my part in its potential. And that mega shift is all because I created my Lake City “Dream Team” or ideal Lake City situation.

Don’t get me wrong, I fully support walking away from something that doesn’t serve you. I have zero problems shifting directions in life toward betterment. And if this contemplation resonates with you and you’re considering shifting directions and walking towards something else, may I pass along Shelly’s advice and encourage creating your dream team. Which, per the semi driver, is going to take work. And then, my friend, if you’re still unhappy - be in pursuit toward betterment!

~ Belay

Me learning to surf at 40 in Waikiki Beach, Hawaii!