Social Media

“What’s going on with you?”

Two people asked after I deleted Instagram. The question was slightly offensive. Why must there be something “going on with me?” The assuming question seemed negative by nature. Could not this decision have been thoroughly calculated while in a positive headspace?

Ridding IG wasn’t a spontaneous action. The decision didn’t come in an '“aha moment” or as an epiphany. Ridding IG was simply the final step in my grand social media exit. 18 months ago, I requested that BE’s marketer delete LinkedIn and TikTok. Though the marketer disapproved, she removed both. Eight months after, I deleted Facebook. Finally, two weeks ago, I officially said goodbye to Instagram. My ultimate goal of operating solely off the BE website is here.

The reason is simple.

I find social media platforms to misalign with the BE values of BE Outside, BE Simple, and BE In Pursuit.

There is no other reason.

People notice if you live your values, walk your talk, and practice what you preach. I know this because I notice. I was emailing my minimalist friend, Suelo, the other day. Suelo is also known as “The Man Who Quit Money” thanks to author Mark Sundeen and his best seller The Man Who Quit Money. Suelo said that no matter how well you live your values, people will always notice the smallest discrepancy.

“…the stain noticed first is on the whitest shirt.”

- Suelo

Suelo in his natural habitat.

We might think, “Who cares what other people think!” And I would agree, somewhat. But deleting social media was never about what others thought; it was about what I thought and how I felt. And for 18 months I felt a value conflict. To use Suelo’s metaphor, I noticed the stain on my shirt first.

When you find yourself in a value conflict, you have two options:

1. Accept that it’s time to change your values, or

2. Accept that it’s time to change your behavior.

Until your values and behaviors align, you will find yourself in a state of uneasiness. As for me, the BE values of BE Outside, BE Simple, and BE In Pursuit serve as my recipe for happiness. My recipe for

BE You. Better

My values weren’t changing, therefore, my online, indoor, mindless scrolling, lack of pursuit behavior needed to go.

This is not the first time I’ve rid social media. In 2016, depressed in PhD school and on a quest to re-find my happiness, I deleted all social medias for an indefinite amount of time. Not deactivated, straight up deleted. The indefinite amount of time equaled one year. Researchers call my decision to delete and not deactivate a “commitment device.”

Choosing an action that will force a better habit.

When you deactivate your social medias, you’re relying on your will power to stay off the platform and not reactivate. When you delete your social medias, it’s game over. Pictures are gone, posts are gone, your following is gone, and who you follow is gone. Your will power doesn’t come into play. You force a commitment. I’ve heard many times that I am extreme in my actions. I simply believe that commitment devices are amongst my favorite tools. The year without social media continues to be one my favorite years to date.

Over the past 10 months while having IG but no other platform I noticed an influencer with over 300,000 followers banned from IG for one week. My first reaction,

“I bet she feels so free.”

I frequently told my significant other who doesn’t have social media,

“You are so lucky, never get it, and I bet that’s why you’re so drama-free.”

This past journey in Colorado, both of the ladies didn’t have social media. It was a recent decision of theirs. One night over tea, I asked if they were happier without it to which they both replied yes. It was a question I never needed to ask because I already knew the answer. Of course they were happier without it. Just like I was happier without it during my one year hiatus.

Jess & Leigh: two social media-free gals in Colorado.

Several years ago, I found myself in an unhappy relationship and I would air my grievances to my colleague Lisa. Finally one day, Lisa looked me dead in the eyes and said,

“You’ve been singing the same song for awhile now.”

Point delivered effectively. I clearly needed to act or shut up. And with Lisa’s words forever engrained in my brain, after 18 months of singing the same song about social media, it became quite clear to me that I needed to act or shut up. You are simply seeing the act.

If my one year hiatus from social media was so great, why did I return? During my hiatus and while living outside, simple, and in pursuit, I had a real aha moment. My future rested in entrepreneurship and I needed exposure. So for

BUSINESS PURPOSES ONLY

I went back on the platforms. Thus, the concern is not lost on me when I mention exiting social media and people ask, “What about your business? Don’t you need IG for exposure?”

Notice the emphasis on “need.” That is certainly what the platforms have made us believe. They’ve done an outstanding job at making a person feel only visible through screen. And they’ve done an equally outstanding job of making businesses believe that the only thing worse than getting “cancelled” is perhaps not being on the platforms at all.

The truth is, BE operates mostly by word-of-mouth, return journeyers, and corporate partnerships. And the reality is that businesses were successful long before social media because there are indeed many different marketing approaches. So I just refuse to believe that I, Megan Belay Taylor, need social media to prosper.

Jess’ 4th of five BE journeys. I hope I never take for granted how blessed I am to have been chosen for her annual “misogis.”

With all of this being said, I still cannot fathom being unappreciative of BE’s time on IG. The platform has connected me to many journeyers and as of recently, several partners; for each relationship I am beyond grateful. But instead of worrying about losing future partnerships (a mindset of more, more, more), I shall instead pour my efforts into current partnerships and relationships (a mindset of retention and appreciation).

To desire more is the antithesis of simplicity. To be content with what you have is the art of it.

Life is a journey and the only things we can count on are death and change - so I’ve read. I’m grateful to have established three guiding values that help make my journey the best that it can be. And I’m grateful that you choose to be here with me. As ridiculous as it may sound, I’ve been dreaming for awhile now about being social media-free; operating solely and simply off my website. Thank you for your part in it!

Best, Belay

This is 100% not a green screen. This is me in front of Mount Rainier on the Pacific Crest Trail. About one month after my one-year hiatus.

P.S. What has my social media-free time consisted of?

• I read on average four chapters a day vs one. Ultimately that let me complete number 21 of my 38 New Year Resolutions early (see image below).

• I made amends with my grandmother. When my mind went to her and our falling out, instead of distracting my emotions with IG, I reached out. After three years, we are good again.

• I put BE’s third Seven Summit on the calendar - Mount Kosciuszko. With social media, that would have been 2024 goal.

• I haven’t argued with my significant other. Social media is a real issue for all types of relationships for a ginormous host of reasons.

• I reached out to Nepali Sherpas for Mount Everest. With social media, that dream would have remained a few years down the line.

• I’m planning a retreat with the author of my NYR #21 book. An initiative made possible because I finished his book early.

• Lastly, I typed this blog post. With social media, it would have never happened. Never.

21 is now crossed out. Each year my number of New Year Resolutions increase by one. This year I have 38 because I am 38 years wise.