Walking Away

I’ve walked away from a lot in my life. In fact, I even hosted a podcast called “Walked Away To” that featured individuals who walked away from mega life situations toward something way more uncertain but hopefully better. It’s worth mentioning that they were always happier post-walking away. But eventually, I walked away from that podcast.

This is me turning my back to PhD school after I made the tumultuous decision to walk away after five years.

I also think it’s worth recognizing that walking away from something might mean quitting a certain experience but that doesn’t mean you didn't accomplish something. I actually think that walking away from some situations can be the wisest accomplishment of all. Not to mention, you still had a ton of learning along the way and learning anything is an accomplishment in and of itself.

So what have I walked away from? Well for starters, summits, thru-hikes, a PhD, engagements, careers. You know, big things that wrought tumultuous decision making.

This is my foot walking away from something I am sure.

But I will say that there are approximately FOUR pieces of advice that have helped me along my journeys (and through my hardships) to ultimately see an experience through or to walk away:

1. “If the bad days outweigh the good days, it’s okay to walk away,” my mentor, Briget Eastep, when I called her crying from the Appalachian Trail. Do you have more bad days than good? If so, it’s okay to walk away.

2. “Never give up on a bad day,” two hikers I met on day three of my Appalachian Trail thru-hike. I walked away 1,109 miles later and finished the last 1,184 miles two years later. This little nugget encourages waiting until you have a good day and are thinking rationally to decide to walk away. And it’ll be okay if you do!

3. “It’s okay to cry. Through tears, healing begins,” my mentor, Briget Eastep, during the same conversation.

4. “You’ll know when you know,” my mother when I was debating ending an engagement. My mother was simply saying that there’s no rush on big decisions. That in time, your intuition will know. And…we did end our engagement.

This is me on my Hawaii bike tour. My plan was to cycle around all five or six islands. I rode away after one. I’ll be back. And probably just for one island at a time!

A few times a year, I get asked by fellow thru-hikers, “when is it okay to quit the trail?” I simply share with them these four nuggets of wisdom that was once shared with me. And I get it, no one wants to prematurely quit an experience and then regret their decision. The hikers want to be certain yet they also want to be happy.

Thru-hikes and mountain climbing often teach us that the most beautiful and life-changing experiences require extreme perseverance though hardship. But I specifically remember a story by Patagonia founder, Yvon Chouinard, who walked away just 400’ from a first ascent summit because although he knew he could summit, he knew the descent would likely kill him. Once down the mountain, Yvon told a reporter that

he didn’t fail but rather he won!

So perhaps mountain climbing also helps us to know when to walk away from something in order to preserve our emotional, spiritual, and physical self.

This is me on the PCT. This 2,750-mile journey took me three summers. One, because I was in academia working with summers off and two, because I broke my foot in Oregon. But who cares? It took me three tries and two walk-aways.

Dear readers, life is hard. And whether you’re debating walking away from a thru-hike, a summit, a relationship, a career, or whatever else you’re currently in battle with, just remember my four little nuggets of wisdom and the supreme teachings of the mountains.

Best,

Belay

This is me on my thru-bike from Oregon to Virginia. Halfway through I changed my mind and ended in New Orleans on my sister’s birthday to see my baby nephew, Luca.